I would sing this song very sincerely in my youth group back home:
I don't want to be a casual Christian
I don't want to live a lukewarm life.
But I want to light up the night
With an everlasting light.
I don't want to live a casual Christian life.
I received the Lord in November of 1995 at the age of 15, after many
years of seeking Him in various denominations. Over the next five years,
I would experience ups and downs in my faith, love, and sense of the
Lord’s presence which would directly affect my enjoyment of a sermon or
my stress level in a difficult situation. After my first semester at UNT,
I went through the lowest point of my life – rather than lighting up the
night, I felt it would be better to just vanish away into the night and
turn my back on the Lord. However, for some reason I began to pray about
this desire I had before the Lord – I simply could not ignore Him. Then,
one day, I went to the Student Union and began my usual routine of
studying, or trying to study. As I was doing this, my ears picked up
some kind of activity going on at the table in front of me. Then I heard
the word, “Amen!” When I looked up, I saw a group of students completely
absorbed in praying to the Lord and not in a silent way. I was instantly
refreshed and encouraged. There they were, studying the Word, discussing
the Word, and praying. That day, at the table in front of me, a light
was shining…it pierced through the physical realm and struck me in a
most deep way. Inwardly, something was pushing me to say 'hello' to
them, but I tried to tell myself that I wouldn't fit because I had
backslid. Eventually, a Christian from that group gave me a small gospel
tract and that opened the door. I then began meeting with Christian
Students at every opportunity, which occurred almost daily. There were
so many riches in the Bible that I never before had seen. I soon found
out that within me is my human spirit (1 Thessalonians 5:23). The Lord
who is now the life-giving Spirit (1 Corinthians 15:45) abides in my
spirit (Philippians 4:34) and is making His home in my heart (Ephesians
3:17).
The Lord is the most radiant One in the universe! Softly and tenderly He
is calling us to leave the world and enter into the "Good Land" - a
richer experience of Christ. It does not matter at what point in life we
are at – what does matter is that we leave it all behind and enter into
the enjoyment of Christ. Through my fellowship with believers in
Christian Students, I have turned my focus to living the normal
Christian life - a life desperate for the Lord, a life pursuing the
Lord, and overcoming in the strength of the Lord. It is the Lord’s
wisdom that though we are so weak, His strength endures for us, to
supply us thoroughly with all we need to overcome the darkness and shine
with the Lord’s true light.
